In a recent critique, I noticed something we all do occasionally. See if you can spot it.
Once in the solarium, they find a bench and sit down, continuing their conversation. The words flow between them, without the need to think or endure an awkward pause. Candace finds herself genuinely having a good time. It’s been so long since she took some time to have fun.
Evan interrupts her musings, saying, “I have really enjoyed your company, Candace. I hope we can get together again. We can take it one day at a time, no expectations. I would much rather go out to dinner with you than my sister.” He quietly laughs.
No big deal, but it’s the interruption.
Why broadcast it? We will see him do it when he speaks, so there’s no need to say he’s about to do what he’s about to do.
Candace finds herself genuinely having a good time, it’s been so long since she took some time to have fun. Evan seems –
“I really have enjoyed your company, Kelly. “Edward smiled, pulling away. “And I hope…
See? Don’t announce the interruption of her thoughts, just interrupt – and write in such a way that the reader reads it as an interruption.
That’s your tip for the day.
Don’t have a lot of interruptions in your dialogue? Maybe you should add one on occasion. It’ll make your dialogues snappier. (In real life, people interrupt all the time.)
Interrupting adds a tiny element of tension, too, as we
- (a) wait for the point to be made or
- (b) veer off wherever the interruption is taking us.
And if done correctly it will engage your reader better in your story!
If you find little suggestions like this helpful, you can get a bunch of them. Simply enter my Word Weaver Writing Contest, and each entry gets a critique by ME!
For details on how to enter and get your critique, click HERE