What about this? (And don’t be sexist or politically correct just be HONEST)

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your humble host

The other day, we were asking you to choose between two blurbs and two tag lines.

Then I got this message.

Dear Dan,
I would put the first names of the detectives because I think one is a woman and if I know that up front I’m more likely to buy the book.
So maybe something like this:
Facing two horrific crime scenes, Detectives Sergio Martin and Carly Sanderson are assigned to lead the investigation. 
That attracts me more because maybe as a woman I don’t want to read about two men, just a thought.
Sincerely,
Not A Sexist Or A Politically Correct Worrywart

She has a point, and as one of my valued Critique Partners, she gets to the heart of the matter.

MARKETING

According to my friend Jim Patterson (James to those of you who didn’t pay a hundred bucks for his course)

women buy 80% of the books

so we need to keep the ladies in mind when we market.
(Personally, I always try to keep the ladies on my mind, but here – does it help?

Most of the readers of this blog are women. Does letting you know Detective Sanderson is a woman increase your interest level in the book at all?

If the cover has a woman on the front, that might help, but going JUST with the blurb information…

WOULD SHOWING THE DETECTIVES FIRST NAMES – AND LETTING BUYERS KNOW ONE IS A WOMAN – HELP?

Let me know in the comments below.

Here’s the Blurb that most of you liked:

A lone trucker is ambushed, shot, and brutally stabbed. A tourist meets the same fate while out for a jog. Facing two crime scenes that could have been in a horror movie, Detectives Martin and Sanderson search for the crazed serial killer. When five more attacks happen in a week, launching the entire city into a panic, the mayor throws all of the city’s resources into stopping the rampage. But while the detectives work around the clock, they don’t know the killer has upped the game—by making them his next targets. 92 words
We’d change that to Detectives Sergio Martin and Carly Sanderson
or
Detectives Carly Sanderson and Sergio Martin
(Might as well put her first. She has seniority over him and being first will catch a few more eyeballs.)

Tag Line and Blurb update: Here’s how awesome you guys are!

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your humble host

CAN I JUST SAY: YOU GUYS ROCK!

Earlier today I posted about wanting some help with my tag lines and blurb for an upcoming book.

You guys generously poured out to help. In my newsletter, a blog post, and my Facebook author page and personal page, I basically sent the same information out.

The reply was fast and decisive.

After just a few hours, we had a nice initial response and the voting went like this:

BLOG REPLIES:

Tag line A: 11111 = 5
Tag Line B: 11 = 2

Blurb A: = 0
Blurb B: 111111111 = 9

NEWSLETTER replies

Tag line A: 111111111 = 9
Tag Line B: 1111 = 4

Blurb A: 111 = 3
Blurb B: 1111111111 = 10

Facebook: 0 replies at all on personal page and author page. (Not sure what happened there, but people could click the link and go to the blog so we won’t go crazy about that right now.)

TOTAL:
Tag line A: 14
Tag Line B: 6

Blurb A: 3
Blurb B: 19

14 to 6 is pretty decisive, but 19 to 3 is a landslide!

We have our winners.

And in my experience, these margins won’t change if we get 100 more votes or 1000. Usually, after as few a twenty votes, a clear winner is observed and that doesn’t change if we have many, many, many more votes. It’s just how it is.

But it’s cool to know, and a great lesson for you guys.

  1. ASK FOR HELP and you’ll get it.

  2. Don’t abuse the privilege. And

  3. The fans are never wrong, so give them what they want!

Special thank you to all of you who suggested changes, too. There were about six, but each has merit, and we’ll see about adding a few tweaks.

Again,

THANK YOU!!

Help me with a Blurb and Tag Line for my new murder mystery novel! Vote now!

It’s almost that time again!

I have a new murder mystery coming out

and I need some help with the tag line and blurb (the book’s back cover description).

YOUR INPUT COULD BE CRITICAL!

Tell me which of the following tag lines you prefer, and then which blurb. Then feel free to offer your own suggestions. 

 

 

Tag lines:

A). A deranged killer panics a city by brutally attacking seven victims in fourteen days—and then goes after the detectives hunting him. 22 words

B.) The detectives hunting the serial killer want to stop his rampage. So he sets his sights on them. 18 words

 

Blurbs:

A.) A lone trucker is ambushed, shot, and then brutally stabbed to death in a Tampa warehouse, creating a crime scene so bloody it looks like something from a horror movie. Detectives Martin and Sanderson begin searching for a madman with a uniquely sick style of killing, when a jogger is murdered nearby in the same gruesome manner—and the hunt is on for a crazed serial killer. Five more of the violent attacks happen within a week, launching the entire city into a panic. The mayor agrees to throw all the city’s resources into halting the bloody rampage, but things may already be spiraling out of control. Detectives Martin and Sanderson frantically work around the clock to find their murderer and stop the carnage, but they don’t know the serial killer has decided to take his game to the next level—by making them his next victims. 148 words

 

B.) A lone trucker is ambushed, shot, and brutally stabbed. A tourist meets the same fate while out for a jog. Facing two crime scenes that could have been in a horror movie, Detectives Martin and Sanderson search for the crazed serial killer. When five more attacks happen in a week, launching the entire city into a panic, the mayor throws all of the city’s resources into stopping the rampage. But while the detectives work around the clock, they don’t know the killer has upped the game—by making them his next targets. 92 words

 

Please tell me your choices below in the comment section!

 

Want to be a beta reader for this thrilling murder mystery? Contact me and I’ll add you to the list.

I’ll need beta readers to read my amazing new story and point out typos or other errors like plot holes and timeline mistakes – anything a regular reader would be upset about.

Beta readers will get an advance copy of the manuscript sometime in September, will have about two weeks to read it and send back comments, and will be asked – but not required – to purchase the 99 cent anthology Death and Damages in which my book occurs, then post a review on Amazon.

There are more than 20 complete books in the Death and Damages anthology, one of which is mine, so it’s a real value, but you’ll also be helping me a ton!

Let me know if you are interested! Contact me HERE and I’ll add you to the list

Thanks!

 

 

 

 

 

You have questions. Ask away.

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your humble host

This blog has long been a friendly place to come and learn, and what better way to learn than to ask?

You have questions. Writer stuff, marketing, motivation, you name it.

ASK ME

Your questions. Your challenges. Your issues.

If I don’t know, we’ll put it out to my vast network of author friends and get an answer. Or I’ll make something up.

 

Many people helped me when I was starting out because I was willing to ask what I needed to know.

That shortened my learning curve substantially.

– Dan Alatorre

So go ahead. Ask me anything.