French fries aren’t french fries they’re chips. Chips aren’t chips they’re crisps. Crisps may or may not be crisps because sometimes crisps are chips and sometimes chips are fries. Depends on the waiter.
There. Get it?
When you are walking for four or five hours and you subtly ask your British friend how much farther it is to wherever you’re headed, and they say, “It’s just there” – just there is 8 miles.
If they say it’s “just here,” that’s 2 miles.
A stroller is allowed on escalators because a stroller is not a stroller; a stroller is a person out walking around and a baby carriage is not.
Nobody knows what the pram is. It might be a baby carriage; it might be a really big shrimp. No one is sure.
Shrimps are prawns by the way. Not massive shrimp like everywhere else.
Great Britain says they are on the metric system but about 80% of the road signs say miles on them, like 8 miles until the next turn. So I have a feeling once they get to Brexiting, that metric shit’s going away.
Friends are mates but I don’t think that means they’re mating with their friends. But I didn’t ask.
British bacon is ham. Doesn’t matter what they say, that’s what it is. And American bacon is better than ham OR British bacon (or – ugh – Canadian bacon). Brits will argue about this. Ignore them. American bacon is a gift from the pork gods. Love it. Miss it. Eat your body weight in it when you get back.
Dollars are pounds, more or less, but sometimes pounds are Quids and sometimes they’re Bobs. And btw if you use the blue pass to get on the train to Cambridge (which requires the orange pass), it will let you on but it won’t let you off. That’s when you get a very stern warning from a man in a uniform at the Cambridge station who warns you he could charge you 50 Quid but you don’t care because you think that the price of a Coke. (It was actually about $23 for the ticket. I did not get fined by the way.)
Most people here are very polite. Overly so. But ones who aren’t, really aren’t a lot. You’ll meet them while driving.
They misspell a lot of English words. Colour. Practice. Stuff like that. Nothing major.
A free house is a pub. A pub is a bar. Anybody who advertizes a free house would do a lot more business if they just said they were a pub. We thought it was a hotel and kept driving. Maybe it’s a truck to avoid Americans. Let’s see if the Canadians adopt it.
Beers are pints, which is good because pints are larger than regular beers.
You don’t want a beer, you want a lager. A lager is cold and carbonated, not warm and flat like beers and ales – although I recommend trying them, they’re not like American stuff. Just… know that one before you go.
Their money is see through. It has a plastic window in it with Big Ben.
Everything is King’s this or Queen’s that. I think the royal family kind of has an inferiority complex. They’re freaking kings and queens for Pete’s sake. They don’t need everything named after themselves. That’s a bit much.
Heard a hotel maid utter “blimey.” It was awesome. Oh, and apparently if you are an entry-level construction worker or a hotel maid, speaking Cockney is a job requirement.
There are dotted lines on the road and straight lines on the road and squiggly lines on the road. Nobody knows what the squiggly lines mean and nobody pays attention to any of the lines anyway.
Speaking of Americans, most British people love Americans. Not all of them, but most. And even though they’re very polite and they have a lot of rules – and I mean a lot – if you speak with an American accent they are too afraid of offending you to tell you you’re breaking the rules, which means you could basically get away with anything over here. Five drunk Texans could probably take over the whole country. Yeehaw!
There are more, but that’s a good start.
What are YOUR faves?