Did I Ever Tell You How Much I HATE Peyton Manning?

So we had a fun Super Bowl: Michele and Savvy went shopping and missed half the game, and I made some homemade salsa and watched the game at home by myself. I didn’t mind; no chance of having to play Candy Land in the middle of the game. Plus, the Broncos got blown out, and I hate Peyton Manning, their quarter back. I have hated him ever since he humiliated the Tampa Bay Buccaneers the year after we won the Super Bowl. The Buccaneers were having a great season, winning a lot of games, and all the local fans were anticipating going to the Super bowl again, in back to back years, and winning a 2^nd Lombardi trophy. We were beating the socks off of Peyton Manning and his team, which at the time was Indianapolis Colts. There was less than 5 minutes left on the 4^th quarter, and the Bucs were up by 2 touchdowns. But do you know what? Peyton Manning and the Colts came back to win the game, scoring 3 touchdowns in 3 minutes, as time ran out. It was a humiliating loss, and the Buccaneers team seemed to be the emperor with no clothes from that moment on. No return trip to the Super Bowl – and no winning seasons again for us for a long time.

All because of that ultra talented jerk Peyton Manning. His coach, Tony Dungy, later said in an interview that Manning had played so badly in that game, that they were considering benching him just to see if a different quarterback could spark the flailing Colts.

In the end, they didn’t need to. Manning found the open receivers, sliced and diced the Buccaneers defense, and won the game in an ending worthy of a Hollywood movie. He didn’t get lucky, and it wasn’t a fluke. It was the result of hard work, talent and attitude. Manning was able to muster enough from himself and his team to beat our team, and do it in a spectacular way on a Monday night with the whole nation watching.

And I hated him for it.

So when he was now getting his butt kicked in the Super Bowl, I was enjoying it immensely. I was happily shocked when the ball sailed over his head on the first play of the game, causing a safety and 2 points for his opponent, the Seattle Seahawks. I loved seeing Manning get intercepted and having the ball get run back for a Seahawks’ touchdown. I was thrilled that it was almost the start of the 4^th quarter before his team scored their first points, and the announcers exclaiming that the game was all but over.

I’m that petty. I can admit it.

Read the rest here in my book “Night of the Colonoscopy: A Horror Story”

http://tinyurl.com/psnw8hy

A HILARIOUS story from bestselling author and humorist Dan Alatorre, about a subject nobody wants to even think about!

“Colonoscopy? You turn 50 and all of a sudden they want to stick a TV camera up your butt? Terrific.”

Dan deals with it ALL, laying out each step of the process in his typical, hilarious way, but with a goal of educating us in the process (in the end, it’s not so bad. Get it? In the end?) about a necessary and life saving procedure.

Night Of The Colonoscopy is a funny story about a guy starting to get a little older and trying to be realistic about it; wanting to have fun in life while still setting a good example for his 3-year old daughter – while keeping a humorous outlook at life.

The hospital gown that won’t close in the back? The nurse who didn’t tell him everything he might need to know about laxatives? And just how big is that camera, anyway???

Follow along and laugh as we head down another road of family interaction and life lessons as we learn about the Night Of The Colonoscopy!

Buy this book and learn about this important and life saving procedure while chuckling to yourself the whole time.