Drive Safely!

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your humble host

I had a road rage incident this morning!

This is SOOOOOO embarrassing.

I had to go pick up my wife from the auto service center and I pulled out of the driveway and headed down my road. The car behind me flew by me over the speedbump yelling and ranting and raving. Apparently I had cut him off when I pulled out of my driveway.

The problem is, if he had been going the speed limit, I really could not have cut him off. But if he was speeding – which he apparently was – then maybe I cut him off.

Let’s say for the sake of argument that I cut him off.

Because I did.

It’s not like I was in such a big rush. My wife was going to be at the auto center for a while, but I didn’t want her to wait any longer than necessary.

This guy, on the other hand, was going speeds upwards of 35 miles an hour on a road where the limit is 25 and we have speed bumps that require you to go 15. So him and his big Wilford Brimley face and his big beer barrel belly and his big black pickup truck decided they didn’t want to play by the rules this morning. So when he got the end of the street and he couldn’t go anywhere – because, this being my street, I knew there would be tons of morning rush hour traffic on the main road and he would be waiting there for quite a while (therefore there’s no reason to speed on the street because you can’t get anywhere and when you get to the end) – I honked my horn at him.


For maybe five or six seconds, which seems like 30 minutes when it’s eight in the morning.

He didn’t like that too much.

He pulled across the street and jumped out of his car, hustling back over towards me to make sure I got an earful.

Now, since he was an old man with gray hair and a big belly and was kind of Wilford Brimley looking, I didn’t really want to get in a fight with him. I mean, can you imagine duking it out on the side of the road with the Quaker Oats guy over who went how fast over speed bumps? Come on!

Also, since he got out of his truck I could see he didn’t have a gun or anything, so I wasn’t really in fear for my life.

It’s been my experience that if somebody is going to yell at you, they have pretty much resigned themselves to yelling at you and not shooting you. (I could be wrong on that last part so don’t take that as a nugget of wisdom, just maybe good luck on my part.)

Anyway, after venting his rage on me for a few minutes and me venting mine on him, it was resolved that I cut him off because he was speeding and that he endangered the lives of every child on the street by driving excessively fast to a stop sign. Therefore negating his speeding and… I don’t know.  Whatever. There really was no point.

And that’s the point. Road rage serves no purpose.

Except to have a great story and dammit I wish I had videoed it on my phone because he was out of control. But he was like an Ewok! He was a big gray teddy bear throwing a tantrum.

Anyway kids, don’t try this at home. I was wrong and so was he and that’s the lesson. Both people can be wrong.

Maybe next time both people can be smart. I can be a little more courteous and he can be a little more patient and neither one of us have to yell at anybody because next time somebody will probably get shot to death. Not by me. And probably not by him. But by the idiot we end up yelling at who actually has a gun and decides they’re not up for arguing this morning.

Drive safely!


Published by Dan Alatorre AUTHOR

International bestselling author Dan Alatorre has 17 titles published in over a dozen languages. From Romance in Poggibonsi to action and adventure in the sci-fi thriller The Navigators, to comedies like Night Of The Colonoscopy: A Horror Story (Sort Of) and the heartwarming and humorous anecdotes about parenting in the popular Savvy Stories series, his knack for surprising audiences and making you laugh or cry - or hang onto the edge of your seat - has been enjoyed by audiences around the world. And you are guaranteed to get a page turner every time. “That’s my style,” Dan says. “Grab you on page one and then send you on a roller coaster ride, regardless of the story or genre.” Readers agree, making his string of #1 bestsellers popular across the globe. He will make you chuckle or shed tears, sometimes on the same page. His novels always contain twists and turns, and his nonfiction will stay in your heart forever. Dan resides in the Tampa area with his wife and daughter. You can find him blogging away almost every day on www.DanAlatorre or watch his hilarious YouTube show every week Writers Off Task With Friends. Dan’s marketing book 25 eBook Marketing Tips You Wish You Knew has been a valuable tool for new authors (it’s free if you subscribe to his newsletter) and his dedication to helping other authors is evident in his helpful blog.

16 thoughts on “Drive Safely!

  1. First & foremost, I’m glad you’re okay, Dan. I’ve often wondered, in incidents I’ve been in, in the past, if they could have escalated. A funny anecdote: It sometimes helps me if I sing (in my head) lines from a Def Leppard song (of all things!): “let it rock/let it roll/let it go.” Then later, when I’m not driving, I can sing about me and my wine. 🙂

    1. They really can, and it’s really stupid to engage and stuff like that. But for the most part, he wanted to yell at me and if it had gone on another minute or two – really I believe this – it’s entirely possible I would’ve gotten out and apologized and shook his hand and he might’ve colmed down and said he was wrong, too. That’s just kind of how stuff like that tends to work out with me. When one side admits they were wrong and apologizes, it’s not that hard to get the other side to do it. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for that today.

  2. Wow thanks for that! I drive a Mini Cooper and used to get mad when SUV s cut me off all the time but I finally realized they had a hard time seeing me. And I almost got blown off the freeway twice by trucks that had the same problem. So I understand you blowing your horn but I’m so glad you didn’t get out of your car and confront the guy. Thanks for sharing.

  3. oh mi god. So a few months back I was driving out of my neighborhood. I live in the mountains, the roads are really narrow. A car was coming towards me, so I pull to the absolute right so we can both fit, at about the same time a woman hiding behind her garbage can on the side of the road stands up. And begins yelling at me for driving too close to her. She followed me into the road to continue yelling as I drove away, 15 mph. Then she starts making trigger pulling finger gun hands at me. Sigh. People suck sometimes. I still wonder what the heck she was doing hiding behind her garbage can. LOL

  4. In our dream worlds, we are always The Cool, Calm, Composed person who is totally in control and ready a very mature and philosophical few words which leaves the other person in speechless awe of our towering character and intellect.
    Happy for the rounded development of our children or the basic self-respect of our friends we can go ‘Three Stooges’ as well as the next person.
    Glad you did not have an accident

    1. That’s the best. I love when I make that happen.

      As a writing tip, I only did two drafts of that post. In the first draft, I kept referring to him as “that Wilford Brimley looking guy”. But as I went on I needed to change it up a little bit, so I googled him. I knew Wilford Brimley was in a bunch of other stuff. Then I saw the quaker oats thing. I was like, yeah! Everyone will know him as the quaker oats guy!

      I figured that would be really funny to a select few people but it was well worth it!

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