The Most EXCITING Post ON Postage That You Will Ever See

You’re an author! You made one of those book thingies, and it is actually selling. Woo hoo!

Now you’ll occasionally have to mail a copy of your book to somebody. Like, say, for Grandma’s birthday. After all, she wanted to buy your book, it’s just that money is tight. She can’t afford books and her luxury condo on Biscayne Bay.

Maybe a fan wants an autographed copy!

Maybe everybody you know is getting this book for Christmas and birthdays and weddings, like it or not!

So you must now consider postage. Stay with me. Books tend to be heavy. Shipping heavy things tends to be expensive. Oprah still hasn’t called, and that first royalty check will only buy you half a pizza. You have to watch expenses until the world discovers your greatness in the written word and beats your door down with handfuls of cash to throw at you in exchange for black marks you caused to be on paper.

Consider the all-exciting prospect of postage. Yeah, the boys and girls in blue at the USPS, better known as the post office.

Their customer service skills aside, these people are known for two things. Shooting the hell out of their offices and delivering stuff to every single house in America every day. That’s pretty impressive. How often have you wanted to shoot up your office? These guys have actually done it. Walk the walk, baby. Respect.

Anyway, when I went to mail a few copies of my book out (yes, they were gifts. Geez.) the very helpful (and possibly gun-toting) service clerk at the post office advised me that they have a rate called media mail.

I could not have cared less, as I’m guessing you have similar feelings. Wait.

My first envelope containing several books would have cost $10.55 to ship by way of the cheapest regular postal rate; instead, using media mail, it cost $3.55. I saved $7.00. That’s a pint of Warsteiner at Dunderbak’s. My second envelope had just one book, and it was still $3.69 at the cheapest rate. Using media mail, it went down to $2.69 – another buck! Now I can tip the waitress! Or get lunch off the dollar menu at Wendy’s. Life is good, if not completely healthy.

Take that, Uncle Sam!

There are some rules, like you can’t put personal notes in there, and it actually has to be books or other media, but if you can save $7.00, you should! And a lot of stuff falls into that category for an author. Not your baby hamsters, per se; but as a mail-order business where was that really going anyway?

You be a wordsmith.

Remember: Medial Mail for all book mailings. Now, whose turn is it to buy a round?