Maybe. We Yanks and you Brits apparently approach things a little differently, it would seem… Anyway, our hilarious friend Curtis Bausse drops by to say a few words to explain that – and ask a favour. (See that? Favour? British spelling.)
I always like to give you guys a shot at getting betas and reviews and input, etc. and Curtis, being a pal, needs your ears for a moment. Or eyes, I guess.
I’m British. Now, don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. In spite of Brexit, I can live with it (though it probably helps that I live in France). No, the problem only arises when I want to be noticed. And that’s when I regret not being American. Let me illustrate:
The American: Hey, guys, LOOK AT ME!!! (Everyone turns to look, gasps in admiration and applauds).
The Brit: Um, excuse me, would you be so kind as to, er, cast a glance in my direction? (A few people raise their heads to see where the voice is coming from. Seeing nothing of note, they shrug and return to their crossword).
The shy, retiring Brit. A cliché? Yes. But if you’ve ever wondered who inspired the cliché, now you know. Me.
You’ll find a lot of Brits who condescend. ‘Americans – so awfully vulgar, my dear, don’t you think? If only they could learn some restraint.’ Don’t believe a word of it. Fact is, we’re jealous.
Now, in the normal course of events, it doesn’t matter. But what if you’ve written a book? As we all know, an author, to be noticed, has to dress up as a very big and very loud exclamation mark. I’M A WRITER!!! Americans are OK with that. A Brit will simply mumble something inaudible and hope for the best.
Though Britishness is incurable, fortunately there’s a way round the problem – borrow an American. Specifically, ask Dan Alatorre if you can write a post for his blog. And Dan, being Dan (i.e. amazingly generous and supportive), says yes. So here I am.
And now to the point.
Hi guys, I’ve written this brilliant book. Can you review it?
Um, hello? Would anyone like to consider reviewing… well, it’s a novel, actually, I’d be really grateful if, you know, you just sort of it read it and say what you think?
I’m looking for reviewers for Perfume Island, second in the Magali Rousseau Detective Series, due for release September 30th. Anyone interested, please drop me a line at and I’ll send an advance review copy.
Phew! Done it! Not too difficult, really.
Oh, I almost forgot – here’s the blurb:
People come out here, they do things they wouldn’t do back home…
All they wanted was a quiet evening together. Then came the phone call. And a chain of events which would take Magali Rousseau into the sinister heart of the tropical island of Mayotte. Where a gloss of beauty hides a tangle of fears. Where the scent of perfume covers the stench of poverty. And where Magali goes on a perilous search for the truth.
In 2011, Mayotte became France’s 101st department. Generosity? Or the cynical occupation of a colony? Perfume Island – a mystery story where the setting itself is a mystery. A geopolitical oddity seething with tension. A wonderland waiting to explode.
And everyone is paying the price.
There you go. What can I offer in return (apart from eternal gratitude)? Well, I know there doesn’t have to be anything – we do this to be supportive. But if you have got something you’d like me to critique (chapter, short story, even a novel), I’d be happy to do so. A word of warning, though – I’ll be honest. Which means I express any reservations I have. I was a beta reader for The Navigators and Dan said my opinion was ‘candid’. Well, yes, there were a couple of points that niggled me, so I told him. But they didn’t stop me enjoying the story because it’s, well, enjoyable. So I gave it a 4-star review (research shows that readers pay more attention to 4-star reviews than 5-star).
Thank you, Dan, for letting me borrow you. You’re the best!
*scuttles off stage and collapses in the wings, a nervous wreck*