You Have To Be Willing To Put Yourself Out There As An Author, part 1.




WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE AND ADULT SITUATIONS that I know some of you will be offended by; that is not my intent, so if swear words and premarital sex and things like that bother you, please stop reading now. You’re welcome back next time but there’s no point in offending you. Okay? Okay. Bye now. See you again soon.

You Have To Be Willing To Put Yourself Out There As An Author.

I think we’re all familiar with famous Hollywood actresses who’ve made the statement “I’d be willing to do a nude scene if it was vital to the story…” I mention actresses because guys don’t get naked in movies as much as the ladies do – and we moviewatching guys appreciate the rampant female nudity and implied sex that we often see on screen – Game of Thrones, anyone? The female to male nakedness ratio has to be 20 to 1, maybe more. But when it comes to acting, a lady can pretend to be a queen, but when she takes her shirt off, those are her real breasts. When the pretend queen kisses the would–be king, the actress is really kissing the actor. It’s a pretend kiss, because they may not have feelings for each other, but it’s their real lips touching.

Okay, we all get that. So what?

So, as an author, you will have times that you have to put yourself out there, too. There is going to be your scene where you have to describe two people kissing, or making love – and you have to do it well. Nobody likes a poorly written sex scene!

Because nobody likes a poorly written scene of any kind. But they’ll notice a bad sex scene more, because of the sex.

I have a scene where a character kisses his wife goodbye as he heads off to work. No big description needed; it’s a peck on the lips and off he goes. If they had been fighting and were making up, it would be a different kiss. If they were on their wedding night, it might be important to the scene to show the tenderness and intimacy of the kissing in greater detail.

Same with sex scenes. Do you want to just have your characters kiss and then “have the camera pull away” as the bedroom doors close? Or do you want some details? Or do you go full-on graphic?

I don’t write erotica, and likely neither do you, but if you do, do it well! I wouldn’t say every book with a good sex scene is erotica any more than I’d say Game of Thrones is erotica. It’s not – but there’s plenty of sex in Thrones, right? That’s part of the story. There are bare boobs in almost every episode. It’s part of that world. I don’t think we’ve seen a naked penis yet, even in the whorehouses. We see a lot of guy’s butts, though.

The point is, whatever writing you do, do it the best you can. Your description of an apple tree is subject to ridicule just like your kissing scenes or sex scenes.

With one very big difference.

Nobody is going to think the way you describe an apple tree is anything more than an apple tree description. The way you describe kissing and or sex is definitely subject to a reader – and friends and relatives – thinking that this is what you do, what you like, or what you want.

Why, you filthy little pervert!

And they couldn’t be more wrong, but somehow it doesn’t feel that way. I don’t think readers would think you were a murderer if you wrote murder mysteries. They don’t perceive you to be a detective if you write whodunnits. But put a sex scene in your story and suddenly you think everybody’s eyeing you like you’re auditioning for the “Fifty Shades of Gray” sequel.

An actress has a script that says she is supposed to get naked on page 25. The director discusses how he wants her to move around while she undresses so the camera will only see what it’s supposed to see. The lighting guy adjusts the lights and the makeup lady powders the actress’s behind so there won’t be any glare.

In other words, there are a lot of people involved in her pretend sex scene.

But when we’re writing our sex scene, well, it’s just us. As in, just you, you filthy little pervert. Whatever ends up on the page is all your doing. You and only you.

Well… hold that thought. We’ll come back to that.

To be a writer you have to be able to describe that apple tree. Not everyone can. Heck, I consider myself an decent writer and I may not be able to describe an apple tree. I’ve never tried.

Similarly, I have kissed my wife many times in many ways, but I haven’t tried to describe it on paper. And if I write a kissing scene, I might be describing a kiss I’ve actually given my wife – but I might not be. A kiss between my main character and his sexy girlfriend – who is not his wife – that’s new territory, and how I describe that may cause others to think strange things about me, right?

The author wants to have an affair!

The author likes to stick his tongue down a girl’s throat!

The author enjoys having his lip bitten a little!

See, it’s all potentially reflected back on me, like I do those things, or I like those things, when it’s got nothing to do with me (okay maybe that lip biting thing sounds a little hot) – but no, it’s supposed to be a character, not me. Look at all the trouble I’ve caused – and we’re just talking about kissing!

TOMORROW we’ll get into more details about this and other stuff you need to know. See you then.


By carrying that computer around, he looks like he just might know something, doesn't he?
By carrying that computer around, he looks like he just might know something, doesn’t he?

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Published by Dan Alatorre AUTHOR

International bestselling author Dan Alatorre has 17 titles published in over a dozen languages. From Romance in Poggibonsi to action and adventure in the sci-fi thriller The Navigators, to comedies like Night Of The Colonoscopy: A Horror Story (Sort Of) and the heartwarming and humorous anecdotes about parenting in the popular Savvy Stories series, his knack for surprising audiences and making you laugh or cry - or hang onto the edge of your seat - has been enjoyed by audiences around the world. And you are guaranteed to get a page turner every time. “That’s my style,” Dan says. “Grab you on page one and then send you on a roller coaster ride, regardless of the story or genre.” Readers agree, making his string of #1 bestsellers popular across the globe. He will make you chuckle or shed tears, sometimes on the same page. His novels always contain twists and turns, and his nonfiction will stay in your heart forever. Dan resides in the Tampa area with his wife and daughter. You can find him blogging away almost every day on www.DanAlatorre or watch his hilarious YouTube show every week Writers Off Task With Friends. Dan’s marketing book 25 eBook Marketing Tips You Wish You Knew has been a valuable tool for new authors (it’s free if you subscribe to his newsletter) and his dedication to helping other authors is evident in his helpful blog.

11 thoughts on “You Have To Be Willing To Put Yourself Out There As An Author, part 1.

  1. Wait, you mean you don’t… Just teasing, but you’re absolutely right. And, the better job we do at creating realistic characters, the more likely the reader will think we’re writing about ourselves.

    Can’t wait to read part two! 😉

    1. “The better job we do at creating realistic characters, the more likely the reader will think we’re writing about ourselves.”

      And sometimes we are! But I read a story about a psycho killer, written in first person (I stab her, I see the blood) and it was kinda freaky. Readers wondered if the guy was really nuts.


      A few lines into his next story, about making pancakes with his grandma, and everybody forgot he was a psycho.

      We worry that if we write a sex scene where somebody squeezes something and the other person likes it, then we’re labelled as deviants. Writing about grandma’s pancakes somehow doesn’t erase that from their heads. Murder? Oh, of course he’s not a murderer. But he is a little kinky…

      READ ON! Part Two awaits you! And thanks for being a contributor. It was kinda lonely in here.

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