These were too funny not to enjoy again. I’m stealing a few for The Zombunny books 2 and 3.
Stolen borrowed from Allison Maruska’s blog.
Way back when I started this blog, it was solely a humor blog. I wrote about funny observations in parenting, teaching, married life, and pretty much whatever struck my fancy.
A few things have happened since then. The blog has evolved into a more “author” oriented endeavor, and readership has grown substantially. I’d like to get in touch with its roots, though, both for nostalgia and to give new readers a peek at my early brilliance (ahem). So I decided to periodically bring back some of those humor posts. The first of these is The Child’s Code.
The Child’s Code was originally a 4-part series. I’ve combined them into an ultimate, smashed-together omnibus that allows you to enjoy the entire series at one time. More points. More pics. More laughter (or cringing, as the case may be).
The premise of The Child’s Code is simple: all kids seem to know just the right way to pull off mischievous activities at the most inconvenient times. Kids who live across the country from each other somehow manage to do the same things. The only explanation for this is at birth, they were all given a secret book called The Child’s Code. In it are the rules of childhood ranging from infancy through the elementary years. I imagine kids must complete each item before they can start puberty.
I obviously can’t see one because I’m a grown-up, but based on the actions of my own kids and others I’ve seen/worked with, I believe I’ve pieced some of it together.
The Child’s Code
1.) The best time to fill a diaper is 7.3 seconds after a new one has been applied. You get bonus points if you fill it to such a degree that the contents are leaking out the leg holes.
2.) The best time to run at top speed towards mommy for a leg hug is when she’s holding a scalding beverage.
3.) Complain about being hungry. Be very obnoxious about it. The second you have a meal in front of you, refuse to eat it.
Read the rest HERE
Then come back and tell me what stuff YOUR kid has done that qualifies for Child Code or Zombunniness!