(And honestly, if you did, you have some deep issues. Which is why we love you)
First, one of the goals of this whole thing is just to have fun, so if you were not selected as a finalist, worry not. It was practically random. Since the original challenge involved rhyming haikus (???) and almost NONE of them rhymed, those that DID advanced.
Next, since we gave extra points for alcohol references or doing the Haiku drunk (remember Uncle Hemingway’s advice) THOSE tended to advance.
Also, the judging may have been done while imbibing. Just sayin’.
So here are our finalists:
“What is your favorite season?”
A riot of leaves
An impressionist painting
DAN: I love a “riot” of leaves. I always enjoy when a writer makes the effort to give a word new meaning, or gets wild with description. Riot is awesome for leaves, cos you’d never suspect them of that, but leave are sneaky fuckers. Ya gotta watch ‘em. Wet, on a tile floor, one wrong step and you’re goin’ down. Trust me. And they’ll riot, oh I have seen some things… Also because tequila. In fact, forget that leaf crap. Tequila got this one advanced. Okay, and maybe the leaf riot. Well done.
What do you do in your spare time?
Carolans on ice
Irish whiskey and honey
Whisper sweet nothings
DAN: How can you not love the intrinsic warmth of Irish whiskey and honey? It’s like a blanket a hug from mom. If mom were whiskey. This one’s so strong, it advances even though I don’t know what Carolans are. I’m not googling it, either. That’s how strong it is.
What kind if old person do you want to become?
Life alert button
Useful for when I fall down
Save me, cute fireman!
DAN: Okay, so first we find out she used to teach poetry, THEN she informs me that haikus aren’t supposed to rhyme – she knew this because she used to teach poetry, I guess – which you’d think would get her tossed from the contest right away… THEN she does her Haiku and it doesn’t reference adult beverages. It wasn’t looking good for AllieCat. BUT it occurred to me that she might be imbibing at the time of the writing of the Haikus, and let’s face it, that Life Alert thing is kinda funny if you’re thinking about an old lady who just presses the button to get cute firemen to come to her house. Which happens. I was in the alarm business for many years. Oh, it happens. You don’t even have to be a cute fireman. Oh, and the typo. (IF not OF old person) I have a soft spot for authors who always catch my typos and then make one. It’s endearing. That’s probably what made me think alcohol was involved.
OKAY FINALISTS! You have 24 hours to do a Haiku on the following randomly generated topic:
“What is one of your worst habits?”
This should be good.
Extra points if you include alcohol, either while writing or as part of the haiku
Extra points if you rhyme
I will announce the winner tomorrow!